We Often Don't See How Much God is Using Us
It was a spiritual experience reading Delirious by Martin Smith, the former lead singer of the band Delirious? based out of the UK. I literally read the book in one sitting (which I'm not sure I've done too often).
As I was reading, I couldn't help remembering how I fell asleep to his worship songs for several years of my life growing up, in my teens. Thinking back to these moments and the how significantly God used Delirious' worship in my own life causes me to get a bit choked up. The revival that took place in my public high school was partly birthed from Delrious' worship - it had, had a major impact on each of us in the band.
It would be an understatement to say that Martin Smith and Delirous? woke up a generation of worshipers and revivalists with their prophetic songs and heart.
One of the things I was most surprised by was how differently I view Martin Smith, from how he seems to view himself. Martin says things like:
"After a while you start to wonder whether you really are any good as a songwriter." (p. 154).
"We desperately needed God to help us, to get through some of those bumps, and there was a shared sense (among the band) of our fragility." (p. 164).
Upon gathering a dozen well known worship leaders together for a project - "I was younger than some of the others, and compared to most people I'd not had much in the way of commercial success." (p. 182).
Concerning his and his wife Anna's CompassionArt project - "I wonder whether I let God down, whether I messed up, whether it should have been different, whether I should have done more." (p. 185).
As I was reading, I wished I could've been sitting with Martin and calmed any worries he's ever had. If he only realized the magnitude of the impact he has had on just my life, it would be enough. Here he is - a legend in the music realm, the greatest songwriter to ever live and a broken, humble vessel God has used on a rare level, and he doesn't even realize it!
It seems like God often hides from us the depth of how much he is using us. Reminds me of King David in 1 Samuel 18:23, "They repeated these words to David. But David said, “Do you think it is a small matter to become the king’s son-in-law? I’m only a poor man and little known." This was after he had killed Goliath. Little did he realize, that the #1 song on Israel's charts were already about David and his exploits! (1 Samuel 18:6-8).
