5 Ways Men Can Get Their Spiritual Drive Back | Alan Pastian
One. Remember you are a son, first
All of us have fathers that have let us down in some way, shape and form. And none of us were the perfect child. But God is a perfect Father. And He calls you, “son.” Even when Jesus was asked about “how to pray,” the first stanza in Jesus answer of how to pray as a disciple is that we are to look up to God and call him “Father.” And if He is our Father then that makes us His sons. We have been adopted into the family of God through the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:15). When we pray and lead our families as “sons of God” it reminds us that we have a Father who loves us deeply and sincerely cares about our every need. And a Father’s affirmation helps us as men to “go the distance.” Even Jesus needed the affirmation of the Father as a Son when He was living and “doing life and ministry.” Of the three times God spoke from heaven, two of them were affirmations to Jesus of “this is My beloved Son.” (Matthew 3:17). If Jesus needs that reminder to be a spiritual leader, so do the guys in your life.
Two. Embrace the grace
Embrace the grace God has given you to love Jesus personally so you can influence those around you spiritually. God’s grace (favor and acceptance of you) not only saved you but sustains you (Ephesians 2:8-10). Nothing can separate you from the love of God and His plans and future He has for you and your family. No matter what kind of week you have had as a man of God, God’s love for you hasn’t changed. Because God doesn’t change. He’s not more in love with you today than He was yesterday. He doesn’t love you less because you sinned more. No way! He’s the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). God loved you before you ever loved Him (Romans 5:8). It’s the same love God has for Jesus, His Son, is the same love God has for you. Grace is the acceptance of God you can never earn but simply receive. Sin will always disqualify your acceptance of God but grace will always amplify your acceptance by God. When it seems like the world is always against you, remember that God is always for you. And if God is for you, who can be against you (Romans 8:31). You have what it takes to be the man your family needs…and wants!
Three. Eliminate busyness
As men, if we don’t eliminate our busyness, we just may eliminate our souls. Developing a lifestyle of leaving early before work and staying late to earn a paycheck or position is not a sustainable for any spiritual leader. It’s time for us as men to take a hard but practical look at the busyness that our life accrues. We have to slow down and inventory the choices we are making daily that are sabotaging our peace and compelling us to rush, achieve and overcommit. Confronting the “idolatry of speed” that is causing so much emotional and relational trauma for us and our families is important. There’s never been a more sobering moment as a man than to “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
Four. Leverage the table
Most guys love to eat. So make your eating time your devotional time. Take a moment at the dinner table to simply share what you read in the Bible over the last week. Or get a quick devotional you can read at the table and ask your family what they think about what you read (you have a captive audience-so why not use that time-this is what I did!). It doesn’t have to be a theological discussion. They probably don’t want that right then, anyhow! They just want to interact with you and have you be present and engaged as a boyfriend, husband and father. They want to hear you talk about God and inspire them to keep going after God. Also, I have made it a practice to “eat the Bible” before I eat breakfast. That means for me to simply meet with God before I do anything else (of course I brew my coffee-not brewing coffee could be the most “unspiritual” thing I do in the morning). It’s finding a Scripture reading plan or a devotional book and a routine that works for you. We are all different as men and so our spiritual routines will be different for everybody. If you seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), all the other things come together for the day and give you strength to finish the day strong.
Five. Grab the moment when you got it
With the fast-paced world we live in, take advantage of your family’s “life needs,” and pray at the moment. Spontaneous prayers are necessary in the hustle of the busy man. These continuous short prayers can model the genuine and personable God we serve. I have found this to bring confidence, courage and consistency to my spiritual leadership. These are prayers in the moment. Prayers that “seek God first” before the issues come. These spontaneous prayers are short (30 seconds or so), they are unannounced (just pray out loud), and they involve touch (hold a hand, shoulder, hug, etc). For example:
What if the girl of your dreams shared her heart with you, and after listening, you held her hand and, with no formal announcement, asked Jesus for His help and comfort (Hebrews 13:6).
Your daughter comes home distraught because of the “mean girl at school,” and you, without announcement and with eyes wide open, say, “Lord, comfort my daughter and be there for her. Provide her with friends who will build her up—not tear her down (Phillippians 4:19).
At the dinner table, your son tells the family that he was bullied at recess, and you immediately say to your family, “Let’s grab hands, pray, and ask God for wisdom” (James 1:5).
It might not feel that spiritual in moment but it is critical for the future. You and your family are moving heaven, your girl is amazed because you are leading her closer to God and your kids are seeing you be the dad they never knew they had!
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